The Hardest Transformation

Ian Miller | 03/10/2025

It’s one thing to choose to change my conscious self--what I consciously say and do when I have the time to think about what I want to say and do. It’s another thing to change my subconscious self--the part of me that’s beyond my conscious control. Let’s look at some examples. 

Someone asks you to close your eyes because they have a surprise for you. ➡️ You consciously close your eyes and avoid ruining the surprise. 

A thorny branch scratches your face as you run through the woods.  ➡️ You subconsciously close your eyes, protecting your eyeball from the thorn that scratched your eyelid instead.

You could have chosen to keep your eyes open. And yes, you would have consciously ruined the surprise. But it would be next to impossible for you to keep your eye open in the face of an object flying towards your face. It would take much practice and conditioning. Your eye is hardwired to close in the face of imminent danger. You don’t have to think about it, thankfully. If you did, you’d probably have seriously-damaged eyeballs.

That’s why the hardest transformation is at a subconscious level. 

We think of change as that which I choose to start or stop doing. For example, I want to change my diet. I have to stop eating unhealthy food and start eating healthy food. I have to choose to eat what is best for me rather than whatever I happen to be craving. 

That works for a while, when your conscious is strong and ready. But as you consciously choose —time after time—to eat a salad rather than chips, you are being changed at a subconscious level. Or, you give up before the subconscious is changed, and you go right back to eating junk food. 

To consciously choose something that goes against your subconscious is painful. Thankfully, if you do it long enough, it wears pathways in your brain so that your subconscious becomes your friend. Now you naturally, or subconsciously, go for the healthier option. It’s become hardwired into who you are. You no longer have to think about it. Deeper change has happened. 

That’s why habits are so powerful. When you do something long enough, it becomes subconscious. And that’s why the hardest transformation is at the subconscious level. 

The way you react when ___________ (you fill in the blank). Your reactions are who you are at a deep level. They tell you a story of a recurring response that has worn a pathway in your brain. Your body knows how to respond without being told. 

And that is, perhaps, why Paul talks about the renewing of the mind. Yes, your conscious choices matter. But it’s so much deeper than that. Your subconscious reactions are where deep transformation happens. And that is the hardest transformation. 

Here’s a personal example. 

When it’s time for bed, it seems that our 6 year old and 3 year old always have one more thing they need to do, one more thing they need to say, before settling down. I keep reminding them that it’s time to go to sleep and they need to let their bodies be still so that they can shut down and rest. That’s always very convincing to a 6 and 3 year old. 

I have started tuning into what I’m feeling when bedtime takes longer than I think it's supposed to. I feel out of control. I feel like they’re pulling one over on me. I feel like they’re manipulating me so that they can stay awake longer. I want to make them stop! They can’t do that. 

I am not consciously thinking that. It’s subconscious. But I have been getting curious about what’s happening inside of me as I parent. And I am discovering some fascinating (and scary) things about myself. For me to grow in love and understanding for my girlies, I have to experience transformation at the subconscious level. I have to be willing to go to those heart beliefs, to those subconscious reactions, to seek to understand what’s going on in my heart. Only then can the truth set me free at the subconscious level. 

How about you, what are those things that trigger you? What are the things that stir up anger and frustration? They just might tell you a story that will take you to hard places. To places that need healing and transformation. To places where The Truth will set you free—if you let it. 

That is hard (and heart) transformation.